Thursday, August 1, 2013

Did you miss me?


It’s been almost 3 months since my last surgery and 6 months since my last chemo.  I often forget I had breast cancer which is an awesome thing!  But I’m reminded with things like scars (3 from reconstruction and mastectomy, 1 from the lymph node removal, 1 from my port, 1 all the way across my stomach and a fake belly button, plus a bunch more from the last surgery when they did lipo).
Or when I schedule my annual exam on my birthday because, why not?  I like my OB/GYN and I’m always in and out with those.  Except this time she felt something “weird” in my breast and wanted to make sure it was nothing. Which it was but she sent me down to my Breast Surgeon to get an Ultra Sound.  It was nice to see them J  And then my pap was abnormal.  So a few weeks later I went back for a Colposcopy (when the dr takes a further look at your cervix).  I tested positive for HPV.  My OB started the appointment by saying she normally tells her married patients who test positive for HPV to have a serious talk with their spouse because HPV is an STD.  Lucky for me I just went through chemo so we know the abnormal pap and positive HPV results are related to that somehow (most likely had HPV already, chemo weakened my immune system and HPV surfaced).  I know there’s a vaccine for HPV but I think you have to be under age 28 or so and I hadn’t heard of HPV or the vaccine until I was too old.  My OB isn’t concerned, I’ll go back every 6 months until I have normal paps.  As you know I’m no doctor so in my words, HPV somehow makes the cervix susceptible to cervical cancer in which case we’d remove the cervix but the risk is so low that my OB doesn’t recommend removing the cervix now.  Lesson learned from this?  No more doctor appointments on my birthday!
Or when I take my pills every morning, luckily I’m down to 4.  Tamoxifen (to help prevent recurrence of cancer), Lexapro (for my anxiety, darn that anxiety.  I take 2 because we up’d my dose) and biotin (hair growth!).  I am about ready to buy one of those plastic containers with the slots for each day. 
Or when I try to fix my short hair.  Sometimes it shocks me – where did this hair come from?  Sometimes it shocks others – where did that dark hair come from?  Either way, I think I’m glad I have it although yesterday I wished I was bald again.  But I didn’t wish hard enough to make that happen.
Or when I look at my calendar and see 2 doctor appointments every week.  That’s a pain but hopefully they’ll slow down soon.  It’s better than 6 like I sometimes had during treatment.
I had my last hot flash about a week before I went back to work.  THANK GOD!!!  Those are horrible!!!  Especially in the heat down here.  Oh man. 
I’ve been back at work for 7 weeks now.  It was nice to start at 30 hours/week but I’m back at 40 now and we’re making it work.  Bobby picks up Micah when he’s not at the fire house which is super helpful .  And Bobby has really encouraged me to work out which has been great. I’ve been going to an outdoor boot camp 2-3 times/week and trying to work out other days at work.  I definitely see the difference in what I can do now vs what I could do before I was diagnosed and sometimes get frustrated but I know I’ve improved since I started working out. 
So what’s next?  I have a follow up with the reconstruction surgeon this Monday.  My next Oncology and Breast Surgeon appointments are in October.  My next pap is in January.  I see my therapist next week, she actually let me go a month between appointments this
It’s been almost 3 months since my last surgery and 6 months since my last chemo.  I often forget I had breast cancer which is an awesome thing!  But I’m reminded with things like scars (3 from reconstruction and mastectomy, 1 from the lymph node removal, 1 from my port, 1 all the way across my stomach and a fake belly button, plus a bunch from the last surgery when they did lipo).
Or when I schedule my annual exam on my birthday because, why not?  I like my OB/GYN and I’m always in and out with those.  Except this time she felt something “weird” in my breast and wanted to make sure it was nothing. Which it was but she sent me down to my Breast Surgeon to get an Ultra Sound.  It was nice to see them J  And then my pap was abnormal.  So a few weeks later I went back for a Colposcopy (when the dr takes a further look at your cervix).  I tested positive for HPV.  My OB started the appointment by saying she normally tells her married patients who test positive for HPV to have a serious talk with their spouse because HPV is an STD.  Lucky for me I just went through chemo so we know the abnormal pap and positive HPV results are related to that somehow (most likely had HPV already, chemo weakened my immune system and HPV surfaced).  I know there’s a vaccine for HPV but I think you have to be under age 28 or so and I hadn’t heard of HPV or the vaccine until I was too old.  My OB isn’t concerned, I’ll go back every 6 months until I have normal paps.  As you know I’m no doctor so in my words, HPV somehow makes the cervix susceptible to cervical cancer in which case we’d remove the cervix but the risk is so low that my OB doesn’t recommend removing the cervix now.  Lesson learned from this?  No more doctor appointments on my birthday!
Or when I take my pills every morning, luckily I’m down to 4.  Tamoxifen (to help prevent recurrence of cancer), Lexapro (for my anxiety, darn that anxiety.  I take 2 because we up’d my dose) and biotin (hair growth!).  I am about ready to buy one of those plastic containers with the slots for each day. 
Or when I try to fix my short hair.  Sometimes it shocks me – where did this hair come from?  Sometimes it shocks others – where did that dark hair come from?  Either way, I think I’m glad I have it although yesterday I wished I was bald again.  But I didn’t wish hard enough to make that happen.
Or when I look at my calendar and see 2 doctor appointments every week.  That’s a pain but hopefully they’ll slow down soon.  It’s better than 6 like I sometimes had during treatment.
I had my last hot flash about a week before I went back to work.  THANK GOD!!!  Those are horrible!!!  Especially in the heat down here.  Oh man. 
I’ve been back at work for 7 weeks now.  It was nice to start at 30 hours/week but I’m back at 40 now and we’re making it work.  Bobby picks up Micah when he’s not at the fire house which is super helpful .  And Bobby has really encouraged me to work out which has been great. I’ve been going to an outdoor boot camp 2-3 times/week and trying to work out other days at work.  I definitely see the difference in what I can do now vs what I could do before I was diagnosed and sometimes get frustrated but I know I’ve improved since I started working out. 
So what’s next?  I have a follow up with the reconstruction surgeon this Monday.  My next Oncology and Breast Surgeon appointments are in October.  My next pap is in January.  I see my therapist next week, she actually let me go a month between appointments this time!  And we continue living this life the best we can.  Oh and in November Bobby and I are going on a cruise for our 5 year anniversary (thanks mom!!).