My Last Day

I wondered if I should have a party for my last day.  I wondered what other people did for the last day of chemo.  But how do you find out?  And come to think of it, if anyone had a last day while I was in chemo, I never knew.  So I wondered but never said or did anything about it.  My mom dropped me off and I went and sat in a different chair so I could sleep (which I didn’t) next to Jerry. 

Around 11:30 I see Katie walk in, unplanned, with a bag of goodies!  Cake, candle, sparking cider and a hat for me!  Then a little later my mom walked in with my lunch and… some pink balloons!  These two totally pulled one over on me!  Planned it the night before and I didn’t have a clue.  I loved it!  I heard another lady comment how I had a big smile on my face when my mom walked in.  Bobby came too although he wasn’t in on the surprise either. 

That celebration was fun and then a little later all the nurses gathered around one lady and were singing and dancing and celebrating her last day.  There were four of us whose last day was Wednesday and we all got to celebrate with the nurses. 

It’s Tuesday now (1/22) and I still have a little pain in my legs from the last chemo treatment but all in all I’m accepting of it because I know it’s my last time to deal with it (it’s hard to say that – I know it’s my last time – because I don’t  want to jinx myself.  I guess this is the beginning of the rest of my life where I  assume any pain or strange thing is cancer). 

Here are a few of the things I’m dealing with going through chemo and having cancer.

I shaved my head with my razor and I tell you, I think it makes me look like I am bald and have cancer.  Duh right?  But seriously, getting rid of that little bit of stubble seems to make a big difference in my mind.  And now the peach fuzz is getting longer.  I want to shave it but what if the peach fuzz is the beginning of my hair growing back and I set myself back 2 weeks?

My temperature is 96.9 (my normal is 97.6) and I’m having a hot flash.  I’m sitting here, in the living room, a few minutes ago I was freezing, now I’m sweating!  This happens on the couch, in bed, in public, everywhere!  I can’t tell if my house is cold or hot so I have to ask others. 

I have a sparsely populated lower eye lash line.  Sounds weird but there are areas where there’s no hair and other spots where there is hair.  My eye brows and upper lash line have definitely thinned out. I bought some super dooper thickening mascara, not really sure that it works but it looks better than having none on.  And I've been trying to master the fake eye lashes.  Luckily I'll be recovering for 4-6 weeks and expect (hope) we'll see some growth during that time.

My feet feel a little tingly.  I think that’s a side effect from the Taxol, they say you can get neuropathy from Taxol.  It’s not too bad, I can still feel my feet and the tingling feeling is not as bad as when you wake up and a limb is asleep but it is a little strange.

I get worn out easily.  Yesterday I tried on a dress I’m wearing to a wedding tonight and decided I’ll need to get ready extra early so I can catch my breath after getting dressed!  But sometimes I don’t get worn out easily and I don’t feel the exhaustion until the next day.  This is both good and bad.  Good because I get to enjoy feeling ‘normal’ and bad because the next day is extra challenging. 

When on medication I can’t drive.  My poor mom has to deal with the worst back seat driver ever! 

I’ll try to post again before surgery and then I might have to show Bobby how to post on here so he can update everyone when I get out of surgery.