Think outside the box

I've noticed that my right eye twitches and that my teeth hurt, which I think is from my tongue pushing on them out of anxiety or stress or something.  I have had minor anxiety since my cancer diagnosis and have been on some form of medication since then.  Every now and then I'll call my doctor and ask her to change the medication or dose.  I met with her today to figure this out so I told her I exercise, drink water, get sunlight, don't feel stressed, etc… so am not sure what else I can do.   She asked if I meditate.  The answer is No.  I've done two-1 hour meditations recently but I don't consider that to mean I meditate.  She suggested meditation two times a day for 10 minutes each time. I mentioned that I listen to podcasts while I run/walk now and she suggested even running/walking without distraction as a form of meditation.  This way I won't have to carve out an additional 20 minutes of time in my day.  I'm not sure I'm going to do that because I really like my podcasts but I like the idea of easily incorporating meditation into my life. 

I thought I was doing pretty much everything I could to be healthy so when my doctor suggested mediation I was surprised but I listened.  Meditation could be the thing to help me and it's free!  Thinking outside the box is what's making things work right now.   Or at least doing things differently - I realized  I need to write down a daily schedule so others have some idea of how things should roll.  I wouldn't consider that "outside the box" but it's different from what I'm used to.  This time of change is hard.  The unknown sucks.  I think talking to family and friends, even our doctors, helps us deal and gives us new ideas of how to handle things.  Don't be afraid to speak up!  I am positive you're not alone.  I am positive there is support out there.  It just might seem a little outside the box. 

Oh my gosh. And then I found this quote.  

Is there really a box?

Writing It Down

As intentional as I’m trying to live, I haven’t figured out blog post timing!  I started on a Monday and thought I’d produce a post on Mondays.  But I forgot on the second Monday.  So I wrote one on Friday and posted it.  I forgot to send one the following Friday. So then I thought, well I’ll do it on Mondays.  But today is Wednesday and I'm still trying to get it done!  

I’ve noticed that my Start Today Journal, where I write 5 things I’m grateful for and 10 goals that I have, really makes a difference in the things that I'm aware of on a consistent basis.  For instance, having to come up with 5 things I’m grateful for means I’m looking for those things throughout the day.  The first thing I do when I wake up is pull out my journal.  Ok, maybe it’s the 5^th  (pee, let the dogs out, make coffee, drink water) but I do try to do it first thing.  I come up with 5 things from the last 24 hours that I am grateful for.  This not only starts my day on a good note by thinking about positive things from the day before, it also puts me in a positive state of mind as I look to the next 24 hours. 

I also write down 10 goals that I have.  These are goals I want to make happen in the next 10 years, they are not goals for the day.  For instance, one goal of mine was that I ran an entire 5k.  I say was because I accomplished it when I ran the virtual Crescent City Classic 10k!  I wrote "I ran a 5k" every day for at least 3 months.  I write the goals as if they’ve already happened because it changes the way your mind thinks about the goals.  I had the goal to run a 5k and then I figured out what I needed to do to be able to say “I ran an entire 5k.”  Writing it down,daily ingrained it into my mind.  Another goal is "we went on a yacht vacation."  And as soon as I started writing this, I started seeing opportunities where it could happen. **: 

When thinking about my blog yesterday,  I realized that perhaps I need to write down my plan so I see it daily. If I’m going to make it a habit, like writing in my journal, I need to be intentional about it.  And by the way, I completed my first journal.  I committed to myself to write in my journal every morning and you know what?  I missed a few days since January 1^st but I completed my first journal!  I’m so proud of myself for keeping that commitment to myself.

Now that I've determined Wednesday is the day, and it's in print, you can expect to see blog posts from me every Wednesday whether you want to see them, or not 😎😎😎

** This is the kind of yacht I'm talking about.  I will be writing that goal, every day, for much longer than 3 months!

Choose Joy

Thursday's used to be my favorite day but I think that's changing.  Not that I need a favorite day but you do get asked occasionally, right?  The first Thursday of quarantine Micah hit a wall with being "home schooled." I heard from other parents that their kids did also, all ages and both boys and girls.  It seemed to happen the following Thursdays also.  I also found my patience to be a little lower as the days went on. 

Then yesterday came.  Micah's on Easter Break now so it wasn't him.  It was me.  I went to the grocery store, which I hate doing right now, but I can't figure out timing for delivery.  I wore a mask and it gave me more appreciation for the front line hero's who wear them way longer than 45 mins.  It was tight and I started getting a headache but I talked myself out of complaining because I knew it'd be coming off soon.  They don't get that luxury - Thank You for what you do. 

Then I had to clean all my groceries.  That's just time consuming.  My shopping experience took 2 hours from leaving the house to being done with everything.  Micah had to finish some work that didn't get turned in.  And he didn't want to.  Bobby and I talked on the phone but that didn't go well.  I misunderstood something my mom said.   By 5 I had to take a walk to not start crying.  Yes it's OK to cry, I know that.  But I didn't want to.  By 6:26 I had to change the zoom call info for a call at 6:30 that I wanted to back out of (Thank God I didn't).

And then?  My 6:30 call started with the You Night NOLA Class of 2020 and things got better.  I lead this call and I mostly focus on the ladies who join the call, to make sure they're OK and are enjoying themselves, rather than focusing on myself.  I say "mostly" because I can share also, and I did. I told them about my walk and trying to not cry and wanting to cancel the call (I never would have).  We talk about serious stuff but we also laugh which is so good for the soul.

You Guys, this isn't easy!  I'm trying so hard to be calm and live intentionally and all that.  Sometimes it's hard.

This morning a friend posted on Facebook, asking what has brought us joy this week and I made a list!  Just bam bam bam bam bam (5 things!)  and thanked her for asking that question because yesterday sucked but look - I still have things that bring my joy. 

So, tell me, what brings you joy?