One more night

It seems as though the oxygen is working.  The x-ray this afternoon showed continued improvement when compared to the x-ray from this morning.  They are keeping me over night and will do another x-ay in the morning.  They plan to send me home if the morning x-ray shows more improvement.  If not, they will put the chest tube in and I’ll be here another night.  Regardless, I will be here until Saturday afternoon, at least. 

On the upside, I have a private room (I think most rooms here are private) with two hospital beds, one for me and one for my guest.  Lucky Bobby, this might be better than the Murphy bed at the hospital I had my surgery at. 

Good news first

Good News – the cancer did NOT spread to my lymph nodes!  I realized the night before my appointment that I expected the results to be negative, like I expected the original biopsy to indicate a benign tumor, not cancer.  I said a prayer right then.  Not that God would change his plans because of my prayer but that I was leaving things in His hands and had maybe taken Him for granted by assuming everything would be ok. It’s a good thing I’ve got other people praying for me when I forget to.

I asked  the doctor if radiation was a possibility because my tumor had grown before it was removed. Unless something else comes up the answer is no.  There isn’t anywhere to radiate since my breast tissue was removed and the lymph nodes are negative.  Good News! Good News! Good News!


Not so good news, I woke up at 4:45 Thursday morning with pain in my right side when I would take a breath.  I thought it was related to the tightness of my binder that I was given on Wednesday (the binder is used to keep compression on my stomach now that all my drains are out) so I loosened the binder but it didn’t help.  I mentioned something about it at my post op appointment but we all blew it off.  Besides we received great news, the cancer did not spread to my lymphatic system, so there were better things to think about! 

I went home to rest.  I was pretty tired which stood out to me because lately I feel rested when I wake up.  When I woke up from my nap I was still hurting and the pain was making me cry. I haven’t cried very many times through this whole thing so that was scaring me a little.  I called the doctor and was advised to get checked at the ER to make sure there wasn’t a blood clot.

There is no clot.  However, I do have a Pneumothorax, or punctured lung, and was admitted to the hospital last night.  Where did it come from?  We’re not sure but one thought is it might have happened during surgery.  The doctors were doing all sorts of things inside my body and might’ve nicked my lung.  Why did it take 9 days to show up?  No answer.  How do we fix it?  I’ve had this big oxygen mask on since last night so that I breathe 100% oxygen.  I should’ve never complained about the little nose oxygen things I had last week!  I’d take those any day over this! The oxygen is supposed to somehow help something happen to fix things (aren’t you glad I’m not your doctor explaining things to you???).  If this doesn't work a chest tube will be inserted to extract the air.  I will have my 3^rd xray at 2pm today to see if the oxygen is doing the trick. 

I don’t think there’s a need to worry, I’m being monitored and taken care of.  We just have to  wait to see what’s next and I’ll let you all know as soon as I can .

Eight days Post-Op

I attempted to update everyone on Monday but it was a little hard to type due to the swollen body that lies between me and the computer (I guess?  Really, it was hard to get my arms around my chest without it hurting!)  I’ve been home since Friday and pretty much lying on the couch.  I change directions for excitement and I think our couch is much more comfortable to sleep on than to sit on so it’s not bad.   We borrowed a wheel chair from the church and Bobby pushed me to a parade on Mardi Gras day.  We live at the end of the Metairie parade route so it’s really convenient!

My first post-op appointment was Monday.  The doctors said the incisions all looked good and they removed 3 of my 4 drains. The pathology report wasn’t in yet but we should have it by the end of the week.  I went by the clinic today and had the final drain removed. 

In case you don’t know what drains are, because I didn’t, about 8 inches of tube was inserted into my abdomen and breasts, 4 total, to collect the fluid that fills open spaces in the body.  Outside of my body the tubes (about 18 inches of tube per drain) were connected to these bulb things that the tubes would drain fluid into.  The first night in the hospital the drains were stripped, or emptied, every hour. The second night, every 2 hours, the third night every 4 hours and we’ve stripped them twice a day since I came home (I was very happy to get 3 out at my first post op appt!).  I document the amount of fluid and once the amount is low enough the doctors remove the drains.  It’s pretty gross but also pretty amazing how the body works and how the doctors have everything figured out.  I had no idea how long the tubes were until they said they were taking them out and I didn’t feel a thing. 

I have a post op appointment tomorrow with Dr Jones.  He did the mastectomy part of my surgery and removed the lymph nodes and will hopefully have the pathology report from the lymph node removal.    We are obviously praying for good news and will try to update the blog quickly once we get those results.

Micah and I sit on the couch and watch Mickey Mouse in the mornings now.  Milk, coffee, cherrios and Mickey.  Our mornings might be what I missed most while in the hospital.

Going home today

Well, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t convince the nurses and doctors that I needed to stay so they’re sending me home.  I suppose it’s a good thing, it means I’m doing well enough to not need their care.  I was just enjoying my comfortable bed and round the clock care! 

 

Post-op

I know most of you received Bobby’s text and/or email that I was out of surgery and we appreciate your texts and emails in response.  Thank you for keeping me in your prayers!

The surgery took about 7 hours and I got to my room around 5pm Tuesday.  The time went by quickly for me, I don’t remember a thing!  But I think it went by a bit slower for Bobby, luckily he was able to take a nap on the Murphy bed in my room.  The nurses checked my vitals every hour the first night.  Last night they checked my vitals every 4 hours and I was able to get some better sleep.  I am pretty sore, mostly in my abdomen right now.  All wires/tubes were disconnected from me Tuesday afternoon and my pain meds are now pills instead of the IV Drip and PCA pump (which I liked because I could give myself more pain meds every 10 minutes!).  Wednesday I moved from my bed to a chair in my room, went on a walk down the hall and another walk down 2 halls to watch a bit of a parade.  Today I’ll get to take a shower and walk around the whole floor.  The doctors said everything went really well and they are pleased with their work.  And all of the nurses and staff here are so nice and caring.

Micah was able to come see me Wednesday evening and while it was hard to not hold him we did have him stand on the bed and I stood up so I could give him a hug.  He loved hiding in all the closets and attempting to hide on shelves.  The shelf thing didn’t go so well.

Oh and good news!  The doctors are 95% sure the cancer did not get into my lymphatic system!!!  We should know for sure at my post-op visit on Monday.  I will be happy to know for sure that it did not spread since we know my tumor was very aggressive.  It actually grew between my ultrasounds on 1/18 and 2/1 so having my surgery so soon was definitely a good thing.

I don’t know when I’ll be discharged but I’m still hoping for Saturday so I can continue being cared for by the nurses.  They seem pretty impressed with my progress though so they might try to send me home on Friday.  We will keep you posted. 

Jan 30th

Today is the first, second Wednesday since October 10^th that I am NOT going to the Cancer Center for my chemo treatment.  I won’t be seeing my chemo nurses.   I won’t be getting sprayed with freeze spray and then stuck with a needle in my port.  I won’t be getting a crazy feeling in my head from the straight shot of Benadryl.  I won’t be sitting in my green ‘lazy boy’ for 5-6 hours.  I won’t be dragging my IV with me to the bathroom.  But I will be having lunch with Jerry, a lunch that will NOT include the sight of a purple box containing a ham or turkey sandwich, baked chips and a soda.  And we will celebrate all of the things we aren’t doing today.

The countdown to my surgery date started about 45 days ago and I’m down to 6 nights before I go in for the biggest surgery of my life.  It’s estimated to take 5-6 hours, including 2-3 hours where two doctors will be working on me, in different areas of my body at the same time.  So that’s more like 7-9 hours.  Bobby has decided he’ll wait at the hospital the entire time (Crazy!  But sweet!)  and I’m sure my mom will be there while she can.  Bobby plans to stay with me as much as possible and my mom will probably come by during the day and bring Micah by to say hi either in the morning or evening, or both, but he’ll continue to go to school and we’ll try to keep things ‘normal’ for him. 

I have no idea what to expect except from what I’ve read on breastcancer.org.  There’s a forum that was started a few years ago, full of women who have either come to New Orleans, to the Center for Restorative Breast Surgery, for their surgery or are preparing to come here.  There are women from all over the US and Canada who come here for their first surgery, second surgery, to fix surgeries by other doctors and the list goes on.  Some of the info I’ve read is encouraging and some has freaked me out.  Good thing I had a therapy appointment on Monday to calm my anxiety, or at least to help me deal with it.  The one thing that remains constant is that everyone loves the doctors and staff at the Center. 

Monday 2/4 I will be in pre-op appointments ALL day.  And then Tuesday 2/5 my surgery begins at 7am. 

My life will change (more than it has).  Sometimes (when I don’t think about things) it’s no big deal and sometimes it seems like the biggest thing in the world.  I guess the upcoming surgery is most similar to having a baby when you know your life will change in EVERY way.  Except, hopefully, I’ll be getting closer to ‘normal’ in less than 18 years J 

To prepare for this life changing event, this past week has been filled with a lot of activity.  Micah’s 2^nd birthday was on Friday.  He had cupcakes at school (and in the morning!) and we had pizza and cake in the evening. 

 

I put the cake in front of him and he tried to grab it.  Oops. His hand is covered in frosting!

 

Saturday we went to a wedding.  I hope this is the last time I have to go to a wedding with a bald head.

 

 

Bobby picked my princess hat for these pictures.

 

 

I should wear this veil all the time!

 

 

 

 

The after party was at the Bulldog and in true Bobby-fashion, we were among the last few to leave the party. 

This is a picture of what Micah and I do every morning.  Cuddle, drink coffee and milk and watch Mickey Mouse.

 

My Last Day

I wondered if I should have a party for my last day.  I wondered what other people did for the last day of chemo.  But how do you find out?  And come to think of it, if anyone had a last day while I was in chemo, I never knew.  So I wondered but never said or did anything about it.  My mom dropped me off and I went and sat in a different chair so I could sleep (which I didn’t) next to Jerry. 

Around 11:30 I see Katie walk in, unplanned, with a bag of goodies!  Cake, candle, sparking cider and a hat for me!  Then a little later my mom walked in with my lunch and… some pink balloons!  These two totally pulled one over on me!  Planned it the night before and I didn’t have a clue.  I loved it!  I heard another lady comment how I had a big smile on my face when my mom walked in.  Bobby came too although he wasn’t in on the surprise either. 

That celebration was fun and then a little later all the nurses gathered around one lady and were singing and dancing and celebrating her last day.  There were four of us whose last day was Wednesday and we all got to celebrate with the nurses. 

It’s Tuesday now (1/22) and I still have a little pain in my legs from the last chemo treatment but all in all I’m accepting of it because I know it’s my last time to deal with it (it’s hard to say that – I know it’s my last time – because I don’t  want to jinx myself.  I guess this is the beginning of the rest of my life where I  assume any pain or strange thing is cancer). 

Here are a few of the things I’m dealing with going through chemo and having cancer.

I shaved my head with my razor and I tell you, I think it makes me look like I am bald and have cancer.  Duh right?  But seriously, getting rid of that little bit of stubble seems to make a big difference in my mind.  And now the peach fuzz is getting longer.  I want to shave it but what if the peach fuzz is the beginning of my hair growing back and I set myself back 2 weeks?

My temperature is 96.9 (my normal is 97.6) and I’m having a hot flash.  I’m sitting here, in the living room, a few minutes ago I was freezing, now I’m sweating!  This happens on the couch, in bed, in public, everywhere!  I can’t tell if my house is cold or hot so I have to ask others. 

I have a sparsely populated lower eye lash line.  Sounds weird but there are areas where there’s no hair and other spots where there is hair.  My eye brows and upper lash line have definitely thinned out. I bought some super dooper thickening mascara, not really sure that it works but it looks better than having none on.  And I've been trying to master the fake eye lashes.  Luckily I'll be recovering for 4-6 weeks and expect (hope) we'll see some growth during that time.

My feet feel a little tingly.  I think that’s a side effect from the Taxol, they say you can get neuropathy from Taxol.  It’s not too bad, I can still feel my feet and the tingling feeling is not as bad as when you wake up and a limb is asleep but it is a little strange.

I get worn out easily.  Yesterday I tried on a dress I’m wearing to a wedding tonight and decided I’ll need to get ready extra early so I can catch my breath after getting dressed!  But sometimes I don’t get worn out easily and I don’t feel the exhaustion until the next day.  This is both good and bad.  Good because I get to enjoy feeling ‘normal’ and bad because the next day is extra challenging. 

When on medication I can’t drive.  My poor mom has to deal with the worst back seat driver ever! 

I’ll try to post again before surgery and then I might have to show Bobby how to post on here so he can update everyone when I get out of surgery.