Now THIS is a good assumption

 

I often send myself an email when I want to remember something.  When I open my email in the morning I'm usually surprised to see an email from myself so I actually open it (chemo brain - you know that meme where you can't find your phone yet you're talking on it?  That's me). 

As I sit here thinking about a comment someone made, I realize I need to read my email again.   I'm thinking about this particular comment because I read it negatively and I want to correct the person.  But what if they didn't mean it negatively?   

It's hard because I really want to correct the person!  Maybe they'd use a different word if they understood.  Or would they? 

I can't be the only one who needs this reminder.  But I definitely need it so maybe you do also.  

What if we assumed everyone else around us had good intentions.  What if we went about our days with that assumption? Our days will be better if we assume good intentions!  (Who cares what "they" say about what it means to ass-u-me?)  

For the comment that I read negatively, I'm just going to assume the person used a word that doesn't fit my understanding of the situation but had good intentions.

What's Normal?

 

I heard some super basic stuff recently that is actually not basic, it's profound.  I was listening to a podcast and they started talking about this being the new normal.  

Whatever "this" is. 

 

Except "this" is it.  

I mean, some things change a little here and there (or a lot).  But we've now been wearing masks, washing our hands or using sanitizer All The Time and social distancing for like 4 months.  

Shoot, we're on our 5th month!  

My days should be fairly consistent and I guess they are but I've been waiting for the new normal to arrive to actually cement my routine and say "yes, this is my life."   

I might not like it but I AM experiencing the new normal.  After all, I've been doing pretty much the same thing for 5 months thinking I'll go back to "normal" eventually. 

 

  

I came across this statement and, gosh, isn't it true?  Why are we waiting for "normal" to come back?  It's here.

 

And I think, wow.  That's it.  It's good, it's bad, it's boring, it's hard, it's fun, it's routine.  And it's beautiful.  

So let's stop waiting and start living!

It sucks

 

Like it or not, covid has given us the time to slow down and really feel the feelings.  Of course feeling the good feelings is something that's easier to do.   But it's also given us time to slow down and feel the bad feelings. 

 

Since having cancer I feel like I'm constantly meeting other people who've had cancer.  Before I received my diagnosis it seemed rare to meet someone who'd had cancer.  Now cancer seems all to common. 

 

I've learned a few things about cancer.  The biggest for me is that a cancer diagnosis is not necessarily a death sentence.  Did you read that?  A cancer diagnosis does not, in itself, mean the person will die.  There are some cancers that have a bleak outlook, but there are some that can be cured (like mine). 

 

Along with meeting more people with cancer, some that I've met have to deal with the news that their cancer has metastasized.

 

Stage 4, or cancer that has spread or metastasized, is bad.  I'd never deny that or pretend to know what it feels like.  I can only imagine that it sucks, big time.  UGH.  The encouraging thing I've seen through all my "cancer friends" is that you can live as a stage 4 cancer Survivor.  They'll always be on treatment and the hope is that the treatment is working.  

 

The reason I bring this up is that I've had 2 friends in the past 3 weeks hear that their cancer has metastasized.  Two young friends (around my age. I'm young right?).

 

I ask that you pray for my friends and all cancer survivors.  Help them find a community of others who are faced with similar situations.  Donate a little to help ease the financial burden if you'd like to.  

Kelly's friends set up a gofundmepage https://gf.me/u/yn6r8z

Elizabeth's friends are selling magnets and bracelets

Do NOT feel sorry for us!  We are strong, powerful women and we are all cancer THRIVERS!

Say What?

Did you know I have a blog?

I want to share it with you! 

  

 

Kickin It Pink For Kristyn started as a way to share my cancer journey with friends and family and has turned into a way for me to share uplifting ideas, encouraging words and add some positivity (or ways to increase the positivity) to our lives.  Check out my first post of Kickin It Pink For Kristyn with the new purpose I've heard that change is good

I love this 

Fragile like a bomb

*

Are you fragile like a bomb or a flower?  I don't want to be fragile like a bomb that's going to explode so let me explain what I think this means. 

 

Many flowers are fragile in the sense that they can fall apart with a small breeze.  Do you fall apart at the simplest things that get in your way?    It's easy for our human brains to grab ahold of the things that hold us back, like the opinions of other people.  So remember this: 

 

 Being fragile like a bomb that has the power to have a huge impact when it is detonated, or when you are putting your ideas in motion, is the kind of fragile I think is referenced with this quote.  And remember that small steps can have big impacts!  

 

 

I also think being fragile like a bomb has something to do with sticking to what you believe in. Do the right thing with integrity so you can sleep at night.

 

oh my goodness wasn't he precious, sleeping without a care in the world!

*This particular photo is of a t shirt being sold on etsy, totally unrelated to this blog*

You're not alone

Did you know you're not alone?  Like really, you're not alone.  I'm not talking physically alone, I'm talking about experiencing things that you experience. 

 

You might not know the people with the shared experiences. 

 

You might be surprised WHO has the shared experiences.

 

You might not be surprised who has the shared experiences.

 

The point is, we all have shared experiences and most of us are too afraid or embarrassed to share them but I'm telling you, you are not alone. 

 

How do I know?  Because every time I mention something that's going on with me (a weird twitch, smelly armpits, cancer, side effects of medicines, frizzy hair, the list goes on…) someone else has experienced it or knows someone else who has. 

 

Are you asking yourself, what's the big deal with this?  Let me tell you!  There are a few reasons why it's important to know you're not alone:

Just knowing someone else has experienced the same thing is reassuring 

            There IS someone you can talk to.  When I was going through breast cancer, I had "my person" that I would text at all hours of the day or night who had gone through the same thing.  Another friend put us in touch with each other.  Knowing it's normal, even if it sucks, to experience certain things helped me to be more accepting of my experience.   

The more I talk about things, the more suggestions I get for how to combat or deal with things.  Hopefully it won't require this many flowers :)

Have you ever wanted a referral from someone who had experience with a provider, medical or otherwise, but didn't know how to go about getting it?  Ask around!

And remember, when someone tells you about something going on in their life, be nice.  You might not understand or have experience with it yourself but if they're telling you, they need to talk about it. 

funk - /fǝNGk/

5-4-3-2-1 and BAM! Get out of the funk.  But dang it, sometimes I want to sit in the funk for a bit!  And I think that's ok as long as I am aware of what I'm doing.   I also think a time limit is good to have so that I don't wallow for too long because honestly, aren't our funks often meaningless?  And don't they often cause undo problems like arguing or wasting time just being mad?

 

Roughly 111 days ago I was so busy going from one thing to the next that I didn't need to acknowledge my feelings or figure out where they were coming from.  And now, after a few months of being home and making time to intentionally do things like journal, read, deciding what I really want to be doing or how I want to spend my time (tv, social media, walking, etc…), paying attention to my moods and more importantly WHY I am in the mood I'm in, I am acknowledging my feelings.  I'm looking deeper into why I feel a certain way.  It's much easier to solve a problem when you know what it is.  I'm not saying it's easy or fun all the time!  But in the big picture, I'm happier.  I can see when I need to listen or stop talking.  I can see where I want to make changes and I'm taking the time to figure out HOW to make the changes. 

 

Sometimes Bobby makes me mad. Go figure :)  But me being mad doesn't help anything and I know this.  Bobby certainly doesn't want me mad.  (Trust me.  I know you don't believe this but I'm not always fun to be around!) I know I've consciously talked myself through being mad and consciously accepted being mad and then consciously told myself it was time to change my mood and 5-4-3-2-1 BAM! I move and make myself change my mood.   

 

Let me give credit where credit is due.  Mel Robins has a 5 Second Rule.  I haven't even listened to, or read, much about her 5 Second Rule but I get the gist.  Mel says "The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you."  I'm going to research this more to make sure I'm using the rule correctly but even if I'm using it wrong, it's working!

How do you get yourself out of a funk?