Just Like the Movies

On Sept 24, 2012 I found out I have breast cancer.  Bobby and I walked into the Doctor's office, not the exam room but the office with a desk and chairs.  I looked at Bobby and said "This is just like the movies, this isn't good" but I still didn't think the lump I found, that had been under scrutiny from two ultrasounds, a mammogram and a biopsy, could possibly be cancer.  My first reaction was that I didn't want to lose my hair.  I can't imagine losing my hair, it was traumatizing (???) enough dealing with the baby hairs that grew back after Micah was born but now I have to lose my hair AND deal with it growing back? 
One week later, I'm still not entirely sure if this has all hit me.  I have other fears (I want to see Micah grow up, I want to grow old with Bobby, How does nausea really feel? How long will this last? Will I always wonder if the cancer will come back? What if it does?) but it still seems a bit surreal.  Since I was given my diagnosis I've had one doctor appointment, been pricked twice for blood, had an MRI, had an IV for the MRI, called HR, told my mom, told Helena, told my friends, told my church, prayed, asked others to pray, written down my thoughts, got my hair cut, kissed Micah way more than he probably wants me to (but I don't care!!!), tried to act like nothing is wrong, tried to act like something is wrong, shed tears and done a little research (I wish I could do more but it freaks me out).  I have an appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow morning, a second opinion in the afternoon, early next week I'll have to do pre-op work for the chemotherapy port and then get the port implanted and I guess start my chemotherapy treatment.
I plan to use this blog as a way to let my friends and family know how things are going.  I don't intend to make you cry or laugh but if you do, I hope you laugh more than cry!  I have no idea what kind of things I'll write about but I feel like I need to do this for me and you.  Please don't judge my writing skills or grammar, or if you do judge just don't tell me about it! 
Here's to Breast Cancer Awareness month and the beginning of my journey.  Join us at the Race For the Cure on Oct 20th.  Our team name is Kickin' It Pink for Kristyn.
Registration link for Race for the Cure